I am studying to be an English teacher, and I am fortunate enough to
conduct classes for various groups of learners, from visually-impaired students
in Vietnam to underprivileged children in Tanzania. Initially, I thought I
would be the one passing on knowledge, skills, and positive attitudes to my
students. Little did I know that I would also learn a lot from them. One
particular lesson that significantly impacted my life and strengthened me is
the importance of gratitude.
For me, gratitude used to be the appreciation of profound aspects in
my life, such as the education I received, the job I had, and the good health I
enjoyed—all those big things. However, due to many changes in our world today,
particularly after COVID-19, I find myself unable to pursue the education I
desire, the job I long for, or the optimal mental and physical health I aspire
to. This abrupt shift left me devastated, struggling to find a single thing to
be thankful for. For a long time, I was in a funk, finding no single reason to
enjoy and appreciate life, until I met my students in Tanzania.
Arusha, Tanzania
When I was in Tanzania teaching English, we had a program to
distribute lunch for the students. Under the winter sky of Arusha, at Manyata –
a primary school tucked away in the maize field, the students were standing in
line to receive their lunch, each of them holding a small box, with the ruler
being the makeshift spoon. There were about 300 students waiting for 50 kg of
rice and 15 kg of boiled beans. The teachers were supposed to distribute food
equally to students. However, during my first distribution, it turned out to be
a disaster. The final group of students had no beans for their meals; they only
had rice. I was so sad and burst into tears at that moment because it was my
fault. Had it not been for my mistake in distribution, the last group would
have rice with beans for lunch. I thought they would be disappointed and angry;
however, contrary to my thoughts, they enjoyed the meal happily. Knowing that I
did not mean to distribute falsely, they thanked me for the rice and the time I
spent cooking. They ate the rice slowly, savoring every mouthful. Seeing the
smiles on their faces, a weight lifted off my heart. At that moment, I realized
that their gratitude warmed not only their hearts but also mine.
The things they expressed gratitude for are not as profound as I
mentioned before; they are just small things like a bowl of rice, even though
in the situation above, it seemed unfair for them. Their attitude hit me hard
and made me wonder how many wonderful things in life I had missed. That is why,
when life becomes difficult for me, when I have to deal with a lot of today's
problems, everything seems bleak. My life is like a mosaic, but without the
gratitude perspective, I tended to focus way too much on the big picture and
failed to appreciate each wonderful piece. In other words, I had been taking
good, small things for granted because they are “already there”, and I do not
have to make a concerted effort to gain or sustain them. Thus, when my expectations
for things that are out-of-my-control are not realized, I grow hatred towards
life, with the “already-there” good things going unnoticed. Thanks to the
experience at Manyata primary school, I have changed my perspective. I have
been practicing acknowledging the good and small things in my life. I went back
home and started a gratitude journal.
"Gratitude unlocks the
fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial
into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity."
-
Melody Beattie
Thanks to gratitude, I can derive more happiness and satisfaction in
the everyday life, even in difficulty. Gratitude is a balm to heal the
soul.
It
is comparatively easy to practice gratitude for good things by simply writing
them down. However, maintaining this perspective can be challenging. Nowadays,
it is not uncommon for us to face issues such as inflation, persistent layoffs,
climate change, and more. As normal citizens, we often feel powerless in
overcoming these challenges.
Since
COVID-19, my family has suffered from a host of difficulties. The project I
invested considerable time and money in was canceled, my parents’ business
encountered numerous challenges due to economic downturns, changes in
university admission requirements resulted in rejections for every application
I submitted, the property loss because of natural disasters like storm or
flood. It is downright difficult to be grateful when suffering from anxiety,
stress, and emotional breakdown. I even resorted to self-harm as a coping
mechanism.
Vietnam, class for students with visual impairment
At that time, I was teaching a class for visually-impaired students
on the Zoom platform. It was a speaking class where we discussed various
topics, including gratitude. During one session, I asked my students what they
were grateful for in their lives. Their answers were predictable: they were
grateful for food, education, and the love their parents gave them - the good -
both big and small - things. To my astonishment, they added, 'I am also
grateful for the difficulties I face because they make me stronger.' I knew
they weren't saying it just to answer my question; they were expressing it
genuinely because they had been practicing gratitude. The fact that they are
responsible and excel in their learning is a testament to their gratitude
perspective.
As I jotted down their answers for delayed feedback, I found myself
pausing for a while. Once again, their response resonated deeply with me. How
come I had never thought of it before? The idea of being grateful for the
challenges and problems I face had never occurred to me. Hadn’t I also grown
and become stronger because of those hardships? Indeed, I had.
Thanks to their answers, I embraced a brand-new perspective on life.
I learn to be thankful for the challenges I face, whether it's advocating for
gender and reproductive rights, navigating the cost-of-living crisis,
overcoming rising inflation, enduring economic downturns, or adapting to
changes in job and education policies, among others. Gratitude, for me now, is
not merely a fleeting feeling; it is a deliberate choice. With regular
practice, gratitude can change our brain to produce happiness and contentment,
even amidst harsh times. Expressing gratitude and receiving it in return act as
catalysts, releasing neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin - two
important neurotransmitters pertaining to pain and stress responses, thus
improving our mood. When practiced regularly, gratitude can grant us
sustainable happiness. In addition, gratitude has an inextricable relationship
with good health. Keeping a gratitude journal causes less stress, improves the
quality of sleep, and builds emotional awareness (Seligman, Steen, Park, &
Peterson, 2005). When we have health, we will have the power to navigate the
challenges in the world. As Brock Lesna once said, “Having your health is
having everything in life.”
In the face of difficulties many years ago, I was unaware of the
scientific background behind gratitude. All I did was the simple act of being
grateful, thus feeling good about myself and my life. As time went by, I took
gratitude to the next level. It is not merely an attitude of appreciation; I
allow gratitude to guide my actions. Consistently, I ask myself this question:
'I am grateful for this thing, what do I need to do to pay it forward?
I am grateful for the time I had to stay at home
because of the lockdown. What do I need to do to pay it forward? I enrolled in
CELTA, an intensive teaching course, and exerted a Herculean effor to pass. As
a result, I was able to land a decent job.
I am grateful for the cost-of-living crisis and
rising inflation. What do I need to do to pay it forward? I learn to tighten
the belt and spend more wisely.
I am grateful for the economic crisis of the past
years, making it challenging for us to afford stuff for basic needs. What do I
need to do to pay it forward? I learn to reduce, reuse and recycle as many
things as possible. Every day, I am
filled with happiness and gratitude because I know that I have the will to
start everything from scratch.
I am grateful for overcoming three years of
depression. What do I need to do to pay it forward? I lend an empathetic ear to
my friends and students, drawing upon my ability to put myself in their shoes.
I am grateful for the gender rights I have to fight
for. What do I need to do to pay it forward? I participate in various writing
competitions, writing stories to raise awareness of gender equality.
I am grateful for the chance to study. What do I need
to do to pay it forward? I work as a volunteer English teacher, offering free,
qualified English courses to underprivileged groups: Hmong ethnic students in
Vietnam, visually-impaired students, and children in Arusha, Tanzania.
I am grateful for the trust and gratitude expressed
by my students. What do I need to do to pay it forward? I focus on my own craft
of teaching, making every lesson as personalized and contextualized as
possible. I am borderline obsessive about getting better every day.
I am grateful for the climate change we are facing.
What do I need to do to pay it forward? I remind myself that I can save the
earth by simple actions such as switching to sustainable products and public
transportation.
I am grateful for simply being alive. What do I need
to do to pay it forward?. I treasure every moment spent with my family. I live
in the moment and practice mindfulness. I keep a gratitude journal, writing
down things I am grateful for and what I can do to reciprocate on a daily
basis.
By doing this, I empower myself with the strength to
deal with whatever life may throw at me. For me, gratitude has become a
dispositional trait. Through the lens of gratitude, I can see a better version
of myself – a more resilient, optimistic, disciplined, selfless, and empathetic
person. Gratitude has fostered adaptive coping mechanisms within me, helped me
stay grounded and guided me towards the right course of actions. Gratitude is
the mom, and motivation, self-discipline, happiness and internal strength is
its offsprings.
The effects of practicing gratitude do not happen overnight. If we
are committed to it, gratitude can provide internal strength that is
sustainable and effective in combating any challenges in the world. Although it
is not possible to maintain this perspective at all times, we can start with a
simple act of thanking. Gratitude is a choice. While gratitude cannot guarantee
a better situation, it can give you the power to navigate the game.
As an English teacher, I know that I am not solely concerned with
the English language per se but with education in the broadest sense of the
world. Recognizing
the significance of gratitude, I have integrated gratitude practices into my
teaching. For instance, I encourage students to express gratitude by drawing
gratitude trees together. With more advanced students, I usually engage them in
activities such as speaking or doing projects centered around the theme of
gratitude. Through this practice, I believe my students and I can become
warriors capable of overcoming any global challenges.
Upon writing this final sentence, I am grateful for all the things
that have happened in my life, so that I can understand the importance of gratitude,
relying on it to not only survive and thrive but also to pay it forward to
society.
“God gave you a gift of 86400 seconds today. Have you used
one to say thank you?”
William
Arthur Ward